a coming out story

 

 

 

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hi, my name is dionne. i suffer from depression and anxiety. it does not define who i am and you cannot make me ashamed of it.

WHEW! it feels so good to finally admit that. there have been so many times i wanted to share what i’ve been going through with you, but i struggled with the shame of it all.

mental illness is no joke, lemme tell you. it is truly debilitating. it is torture. can you imagine if your mind felt like it was attacking itself, and then manifested itself in physical pain all over your body? depression sucks.

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i’ve been very apprehensive about writing this post because i was worried it would harm my prospects for work or future romantic relationships. i also don’t want to sound like i want pity or like i’m apologizing for my condition. both of which i certainly refuse to do. it has taken me years to reach this point and i’m not about to revert now. not for anyone.

the main reason this post was a necessary part of my treatment is the fact that i hide my struggles so well. no one truly knows when i’m crying out for help. i’m here to let you know that there are many more like me, people prone to self-harm who may not show the signs or ask for help.

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we need to create an environment where people who suffer from mental illness are not ostracized. where we can speak and express ourselves freely. that way we can get the help we truly need, instead of bearing all the weight on our own and self-medicating or taking our own lives. it is a harsh reality to face, but hey, it’s the truth.

the thing i want you to take away from this is that we need your empathy and support, but most importantly we need to pay attention and be our brother’s keeper. because when someone is under the weight of mental illness they don’t see things based in reality. in the case of depression, you are so clouded with despair and numbness that you become a shell of a person.

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and for those of you like me: make peace with yourself, you are not any less of a person. you are deserving of love and life and good fortune. don’t allow anyone to stigmatize you, but be patient with those that do. talk honestly to someone. be in touch with how you are feeling. do not neglect yourself. and for GOD’S SAKE, take your medication.

you belong here.

 

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Comments

  1. Simone Wint says:

    Awesome post. Like you I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I hope your article will draw more attention to mental issue. That step by step the barriers and stigma towards this disease will be brojen down. So many people have experiences with it and keep it to themselves because they are ashamed or scared of being perceived as weak. I wish you all the best in the future. Keep strong and keep fighting.

    • Glad you commented. I’m so sorry for your struggles.As Jamaican women we are raised to be strong so when something like this afflicts us, it feels like weakness yes! but if we foster those thoughts we can never get better.
      there’s an app called headspace that really calms me down. have you tried it? also, feel free to keep this conversation open.
      keep the faith love!

  2. ♡ beautiful piece. Thank you.

  3. Very proud Di. Keep being honest and bringing out your creativity !

  4. Sending you virtual hugs. I am always available if you need to talk, if even by Whatsapp.

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